Don’t we all want to be more intuitive? Weren’t we promised by all sorts of (more or less) woo-woo people from the Internet that we have this infinite source of wisdom that has all the goddamn answers and that we just need to tap into it? The steady inner voice that will always lead you to your purpose, soul mates, fulfillment and healthy boundaries and that jazz…
That sounds quite amazing. You and I have both had these tiny moments of wisdom when we knew exactly what to do. (Maybe also those other moments when we knew exactly what to do and we did the opposite because it made more sense or it was socially approved.) But, at least for me, these moments are exceptions. For the most part, I am largely confused, puzzled, perplexed, and I have no idea what to do. I am questioning my decisions, I am going back and forth, I am preparing for 3 different potential future scenarios. I could really use that inner voice to help me a bit.
But how?
How do you actually make friends with your inner voice and start getting its wise messages and guidance?
There are many ways. Intuition is a muscle, and like any other muscle, it needs training. It can also atrophy when it is not used. Writing down the coincidences that happened to you is a great way to start. Also, making a dream journal. Also, meditating. Also, having a regular journal. Writing about your emotions. Feeling your emotions in your body. All these things help.
However…
Regardless of my many spiritual practices, I still wasn’t getting intuitive guidance. I didn’t even have a preference on what to eat for dinner, let alone which career to choose. I left decisions pending because I could not identify the best thing to do.
And then it clicked.
My days were jam-packed. I was trying to be as efficient as possible and organized like a ninja. I had a well-programmed schedule, with getting up at 6 am, spiritual and creative practices, a lot of work, watching something productive at the lunch break, getting more shit done, going home, doing the workout, afternoon meditation, cooking, working on job search and online networking, reading before bed, going to sleep and starting all over again tomorrow.
As I blocked my whole schedule with ‘productive’ activities, the Universe simply did not have time to speak to me.
I was receiving too much input. I was listening to podcasts during my commute. I was trying to catch up on articles and books. So many cool people proudly report on Internet how many books they are reading each week. I wanted to read more. I was hungry for knowledge and new information. That is good, isn’t it?
Yes, but not in excess. We live in a very special period of the human history, in which, if we don’t want to, we never have to be bored. There is an endless stream of podcasts, myriad of blog posts on any topic, an abundance of Youtube videos, an infinity of books on Amazon. All of that is just one click away. All of that can be ours whenever we want it. We can read and consume from now until forever. If we add it to the regular activities of a productive and ambitious person, we get a hot mess. We can easily squeeze the last spare second out of our days. (And even if a spare second somehow shows up again, we will pull our cell phones out and hop on Instagram to see what everyone else is up to.) When do we have time to listen? To tune into our emotions and desires? To receive the messages from the Universe? Never. All our channels are already jammed and crammed.
To become more intuitive, learn how to do nothing.
Build little pockets of silence and idleness into your days. Stop filling every second with something. Give yourself time to think your thoughts and feel your emotions. Tell Universe that you are open to receive new messages and listen. Sit in silence and enjoy. That is how you will become more intuitive and in tune with yourself.
Of course we don’t know what we want when we are actively exploring what the world thinks we should want.
Of course we have no idea of what our thoughts are when we spend our days mindlessly consuming other people’s thoughts.
Of course our inner wisdom is silent when we have put everything else on loudspeakers.
When I have started practicing idleness and listening, slowly I started getting new ideas, clarity about decisions, I started feeling refreshed and my self-confidence increased. Whoa! All these are elements of intuition.
In Divine Time Management, Elizabeth Grace says:
“I’ve realized that very often when you feel insecure, the answer is not to do more or better. Instead, the answer is to focus on unconditional love and acceptance of yourself. Most times when you feel insecure, the issue is within you, not outside of you.”
In Thrive, Arianna Huffington says:
“Wherever we look around the world, we see smart leaders- in politics, business, media- making terrible decisions. What they are lacking is not IQ, but wisdom. Which is no surprise; it has never been harder to tap into our inner wisdom, because in order to do so we have to disconnect from all our omnipresent devices- our gadgets, our screens, our social media- and reconnect with ourselves.”
Disconnection from the outer world is not just a nice thing to do. It is a necessity. Without it, we cannot become wise, we cannot fulfill our potential, we can only fall into the same traps again and again, and chase shiny objects. Disconnection and rest may not come naturally to those of us who are productivity obsessed. Also, stopping and dropping will certainly defy the social norms of hyper-connectedness and workaholism. But it is worth trying. New insights and the sense of peace may surprise you.
And I always go back to Glennon Doyle Melton’s quote:
“You can never get enough of what you don’t need.”
That is true for information, approval, perfectionism, productivity, toys and gadgets of all kinds. Are we looking for the answers in all wrong places? Most probably yes. Try calming down. Try being unproductive. Ramble. Chill out. Try looking within. Try to step out of the busyness and connect to yourself. That is where your intuition will find you.
Before you go
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